I’m a control freak. I’m also extremely neurotic. Anyone who knows me, knows this. Especially those that are extremely close to me. I always have to have everything planned out, organized and I need to know what’s going to happen next. The need for control changed when I was forced to move to Chicago against my will and give up my hopes and dreams of being known for my music…. Okay I’m being EXTREMELY dramatic and that’s not even close to being the truth.
Here’s my story.
In 2009, I made the decision that I needed something more. Life in L.A. was great, but I didn’t’ feel like I was progressing. I moved to New York City, got my equity card within three months and started doing regional theatre. Everything seemed to be going according to plan. MY plan.
I had no idea that meeting a gorgeous man with beautiful blue eyes on New Year's Eve would change all of that. I fell in love and when you fall in love, you end up making sacrifices and the plan you had for yourself tends to be altered. When John and I met, I was happy living in NYC. He was in L.A. working at the Disney media office, applying to law schools.
He got into NYU, Columbia and University of Chicago to name a few. He has to pick a school in NYC I thought. I mean why wouldn’t he? They're great schools and I was there. Win-Win right? I would continue to pursue my performing career and he would start his law career. It was perfect. MY PLAN was perfect.
Well several months later, much to my disappointment, he ended up choosing University of Chicago. I’ve never even been to Chicago! I thought. But that was okay. I was going to continue living in NYC, audition, perform, record an album and keep hustling till I made it! Life was still going to be amazing. Once he finished law school he would get a job in New York and everything would be great. New plan created and going well.
I’m sure you see where this is going, but please…read on.
After much discussion and heartache of being away from the love of life for a year, I decided it was time to move to Chicago. Minor setback, but John would still get a job in New York and we would go back and I would continue down my career path.
I moved to Chicago in September of 2011 and needless to say, I was miserable. I knew no one and had nothing. John was in school all day, I didn’t have a steady job yet, and I had no connections. I knew nothing about Chicago and I was scared. I was scared that everything I had planned for my life and career were being halted. I didn’t want to adjust to this new life. I didn’t want to have to start over. I wanted what I WANTED. And what I wanted was to be in New York following my dreams. I was going to be in this foreign place for two years without anything. Yes, I would have the love of my life but what about my career? What about everything that I had planned? Not to mention the job offer he received and accepted after his first year of school was back in L.A. This was NOT supposed to be happening!
It took months, if not almost a year, for me to pick myself up and be proactive about what I wanted... but the minute I did, my life changed. The minute I let go of control and adapted to my current situation, I found new ways to make my dreams come true. Opportunities started to present themselves to me in ways they never did before. Chicago became the blessing I never saw coming and it was actually what launched my career to be what it is today!
Now that we are back in L.A. I am a full-time singer/songwriter, actress and model and haven’t worked a day job in over a year. Everything that happened, happened for a reason and I learned the valuable lesson that no matter what surprises life throws at you, if your dreams are meant to be, they will happen no matter what. Don’t let a blip in the road you were following stop you from continuing down a new one; one that might be smoother, easier, and better for you in the long run. If my husband had not chosen Chicago over New York and eventually L.A., I would not be where I am now. And I’m so grateful to God that he did.
Malynda Hale is an actress/singer/songwriter and model living in Los Angeles with her husband. She is also the founder of the social media campaign MeTOO!